Better Test The Horn...

When Paul, in 1 Corinthians 6:12 & 10:23 writes, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial” he was probably referencing the Kenyan tap water. The repercussions of drinking this bacteria filled liquid are not to be taken lightly. As proper washrooms are few and in between, I now carry a roll of paper in my shoulder bag... Enough said.

Yesterday, our rental car acquired a flat tire. Being the experienced Iowan I am, our problem shouldn’t have taken more than two minutes to resolve; three tops. Little did I know that the car manufacturer had installed a special bolt into the wheel, to prevent the tire from ‘disappearing’. Five phone calls and two extensive searches later... Mr. Stewart located the adapter that would allow us to entirely remove the tire. We now pray that the full size spare holds out on the diverse Kenyan roads.

Today the weather was hot, maybe too hot. After awaking to find myself not in Iowa, I was alarmed by the sudden change in humidity. My senses informed me it had rained last night. Possibly due to the fact that it is the rainy season in Kenya… or that Mrs. Stewart told me it had. All of this of course, registered before I even opened my eyes. It was a new day, a fresh start. Time to film stuff.

After a quick breakfast of cold cereal, a quick glass of hot chai, and a quick shower of warm (bacteria filled) water, Mr. Stewart and I headed out to Manna Bible Institute. While there, he would be teaching and I would be filming him teach… for five hours straight. Surprisingly enough, five hours a day, five days a week, for two weeks, of Church History and Apologetics, isn’t as boring as it sounds… and I soon found myself actually learning. Though, little did I know that what was about to happen would make my life a little bit more extreme. Hence the narrative.

We were halfway through the speaking engagement (of the day) and I was assigned with a very new and important mission. Apparently, it was essential that I return to African Nazarene University, where we were staying, to receive an update concerning our top secret travel information. Normally, we would have simply used the phone, but it wasn’t working again; go figure. So, it was up to me.

Being the good videographer I am, I propped my camera upon a box, aimed it in John’s general direction, pressed record, grabbed the car keys, and rushed outside where I sprang into our rental… Only to discover the steering wheel was missing!! Oh wait, no, it was there… It has just been installed on the wrong side of the car. Silly Kenyan mechanics.

Leaping from my seat, I rushed around to the other side of the vehicle, and dived headlong into the left driver’s seat. From here, I believed I could properly operate this car. Never mind that it had a manual transmission, or that everything was backwards, or that legally I can’t even drive in Kenya… I was on a mission. Throwing the car into reverse, I pealed out, leaving ruts in the grass, narrowly missing a tree (Hidden Acres all over again), and dodging screaming pedestrians (slight exaggeration), I backed out onto the blacktop.

Using my left hand, I put the car into first and away I went. Everything went seemingly smooth at first, that was until cars started coming at me in my lane… then I remembered that when in a left-handed car, one should probably drive on the left side of the road. Though, with your seat aligned on the middle of the road, not the shoulder.... blah, blah, blah... So much to remember… even the blinkers and windshield wipers where on the wrong sides. Better test the horn… PEEEB …should have guessed. The only thing that wasn’t completely reversed was the gas, brake, and clutch; thankfully.

All in all, things went smoothly and nobody died, the end.

Yawn... It is now way past my Kenyan Kurfew, so I bring this post to a close with a quote:

"It takes 8,460 bolts to assemble an automobile, and one nut to scatter it all over the road."

Don't worry mom, I never brought it over 65km\h

Goodnight.... and God Bless!